Sitting on the Other Side.
Two weeks ago tomorrow I began the process to physically rebuild by undergoing phase 1 of a very long process for reconstruction. The surgery went very well and my surgeon, Dr. Davison and his staff are amazing. My recovery has been a dream and other than waiting for my drains to come out (they are so gross, I will spare the details) I am back on track. I won't be able to work out for a couple more weeks, but I am trying to get back to activity with walks, etc.
But...my surgery is not what brings me back here. For some reason, sharing my story and where this damn cancer journey takes me on this blog is cleansing. Even if nobody reads it.
Last Saturday, I did Race for the Cure - a last minute decision sparked out of middle of the night anger at this disease while I was recovering from surgery. I awoke at 3AM mad at cancer and ready to give it another ass whooping. So, I registered for Race for the Cure, a place where we can raise money to make a difference...and Susan G. Komen makes a difference. If you haven't donated, checked out the organization, or Raced...check it out. We need to keep fighting, so that our kids have a cure.
At the time, I knew that a survivor friend of mine was undergoing some additional tests to check out some questionable things going on. I raced with her name on my bib, along with others...more because we are sister survivors and less about recent tests. But, now...she needs prayers, help, and a cure - it looks like the cancer is back. Cancer is a silent, sneaky, lurking in the dark predator. It sneaks up on you and surprises you. Shocks you. Rattles the cages of all that is comfortable in your life. Just when you think you are comfortable, it is like that jerk that pulls the chair out from underneath you and laughs while you try to get up. I hate this disease. We have to find a cure.
So, today I feel hopeless and helpless. Raging against something I cannot see or touch...or fight. I cannot believe I am in this club, but at the same time, I am so grateful for the second chance and all the people I have met. I need to find and get my boxing gloves back on - for my friend, for me, for my children, and all of us fighting the demons that want to take what is most precious from us.
That's all I have for now...if you see my boxing gloves out there, I have lost them and I need them back.
Amanda
But...my surgery is not what brings me back here. For some reason, sharing my story and where this damn cancer journey takes me on this blog is cleansing. Even if nobody reads it.
Last Saturday, I did Race for the Cure - a last minute decision sparked out of middle of the night anger at this disease while I was recovering from surgery. I awoke at 3AM mad at cancer and ready to give it another ass whooping. So, I registered for Race for the Cure, a place where we can raise money to make a difference...and Susan G. Komen makes a difference. If you haven't donated, checked out the organization, or Raced...check it out. We need to keep fighting, so that our kids have a cure.
At the time, I knew that a survivor friend of mine was undergoing some additional tests to check out some questionable things going on. I raced with her name on my bib, along with others...more because we are sister survivors and less about recent tests. But, now...she needs prayers, help, and a cure - it looks like the cancer is back. Cancer is a silent, sneaky, lurking in the dark predator. It sneaks up on you and surprises you. Shocks you. Rattles the cages of all that is comfortable in your life. Just when you think you are comfortable, it is like that jerk that pulls the chair out from underneath you and laughs while you try to get up. I hate this disease. We have to find a cure.
So, today I feel hopeless and helpless. Raging against something I cannot see or touch...or fight. I cannot believe I am in this club, but at the same time, I am so grateful for the second chance and all the people I have met. I need to find and get my boxing gloves back on - for my friend, for me, for my children, and all of us fighting the demons that want to take what is most precious from us.
That's all I have for now...if you see my boxing gloves out there, I have lost them and I need them back.
Amanda
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~Mary